A Good Year
Tonight is the last Tuesday of the school year for Western Washington University and therefore the last Tuesday night INN for the year. This coming weekend will mark one year for me of working for the INN. It seems hard to believe that it has gone so fast, as it always seems to do. I have learned a lot over the past year and been challenged to reflect on why I would choose to get into ministry and do this kind of work, as well as see the true rewards of the hard work we do in the lives of the people in our community.
How do I begin to describe this last year? It’s been exciting – I’ve worked on a staff with people I truly care about, I’ve led a mission trip to Vancouver, I’ve been able to use my gifts with music, working closely with students. It’s been frustrating – I’m still finding my balance within a crazy schedule that demands that my personal life take a back seat sometimes, I’m challenged by my feelings of being too young and incapable of keeping up. And it’s been a growing experience. It’s easy to call something a "growing experience" when you’re in the midst of it all and are fairly overwhelmed by all that God is working on in you. In retrospect, it is always easier to pinpoint how you actually did or did not grow or change. But over this year I’ve been very aware of the ways I’ve been stretched to do new things and step outside of my comfort zone and learn. I’ve had tough conversations this year that have challenged me to really think about who I am and what we are all called to as children of God. I’ve learned how to work hard when things need to get done and also how to relax when I can. So, I think I have done some growing.
It feels kinda rusty, writing these thoughts right now, as it’s been awhile since I’ve done a "reflection" on my times around the INN. These last few months have been pretty hectic, with coming home from Vancouver right into the planning process for next year, with very little (no) break. I wish I could have said more about how I’ve been processing the transitions through the stages of the year, in order to capture some of the more difficult things that this last quarter has been bringing us through. We are now at a point of saying goodbye – goodbye to students who will leave for the summer, goodbye to interns who are finishing their one year commitment, goodbye to staff, as Lance moves on from the INN. It is a bittersweet place to be, as I look forward with excitement to the years ahead, while knowing that 6 of the 9 staff members I’ve worked with this year will not return. I suppose this is a transition I will reluctantly get used to over time. The nature of this work is that people stay for a season. Students are around for about 4.5 years and then, if we’re lucky, a few of them stick around for a 1 year internship. Staff members are around for a few years, hopefully longer, making an impact during the time they are there. I’m sure I’ll grow accustomed to the cyclical nature of it, with new people coming through the doors in the fall.
I believe God is doing something very unique at the INN. There is something special about our particular setting and relationship with our church. There is also something very special about how we work and operate that seems to set us apart from others who are doing college ministry. It’s hard to put a finger on what it is exactly that God is doing in our midst, but by the nature of the way we do things, with flexibility, with willingness to try new things and see new directions and ways students will best interact and approach their faith, we find ourselves on very special, very precarious, very exciting ground. I think that with the best intentions, we are continuing to seek what God would have our staff do within the midst of the student community at WWU, always knowing that no matter how hard we try, there always has to be room for his interaction with students. From time to time, the realities of working with people and organizational structures will weigh down the work we set out to do, it’s clear that in all the frustration and challenge, God is there, getting things done.
Where do I go from here? What do I do with this "good year" that is drawing to a close? I have been trying hard to see this last month with less finality and resolution than it might seem to have, as things wrap up with our existing staff, and more as a final resting place within a movement of a much larger work being done. I’m hoping to be in this for awhile, for "the long haul", hopefully learning to understand the movements of ministry a little better in a couple years and learning to grow and work for change within this place. God only knows how long I’ll keep up doing this. It’s a crazy existence, a ridiculous schedule, but at the same time, it often feels so close to my heart, so relational and loving and communal, what we do, that it seems natural.
The practical answer to where I’m going is – nowhere. I’m planning to start up with another round of summer at the INN in about two weeks. I’ll be working part time, working on Tuesday night stuff, spending time with the summer staff, and prepping for next year. As for next year, it will be another exciting year of firsts, as I taken on a new role as the INN’s music and program coordinator (that’s the closest thing to a job title that we have) as Lance moves on to bigger and better things. Some else will be taking over my position with small groups and retreats, so as I said before, we begin another round of change with a new staff. I am very excited to see how our staff comes together next year, after such a great year with this group. I’m hopeful for the connections we’ll make together next year. It has been a good year, a fantastic year, a challenging year, a beautiful year. And now we begin to go forward.
